What currency is in your kingdom?

So this week I have been at the HTB Leadership Conference. God has laid some huge things on my heart over the last couple of months. I have been wrestling with a lot of things the most obvious being what is next? my Internship ends this summer and I don't really know what is next but I have the big picture now which I didn't six  months ago. At the conference one speaker Stephen Furtick said this ' if you are not intimidated by your dreams then God is insulted.

God is insulted by dreams we know we can achieve in our own strength one of the other speakers said this ( I think it was Pete Greig) we need to pray for the inevitable then when it happens thank god for it because that will really annoy the atheists!

I have been thinking a lot recently about that whole Kingdom of me Kingdom of God thing. So the story of the kingdom of me goes like this. In the kingdom of me I am queen(or king if you're a guy) what I say goes and no one else matters or is allowed to have a say in how my life is run because I am totally in control it is absolute monarchy. In this kingdom you are on all the stamps and banknotes and coinage. The currency is I and the coin denomination is me.

But if we overturn ourselves to the kingdom of God then its not absolute monarchy its not a constitutional monarchy its a conquering by Christ and he is in charge as prince we offer ourselves to his empire we become a colony. So we still have our integrity and respect but we are under imperial power and rule now by the only emperor who matters which is Christ Jesus.

A lot of us - well me included - thought that its ok for there to be a constitutional monarchy in their kingdom  the kingdom is God's but we rule all the day to day decisions God can do the big stuff but the little stuff that is still my domain, God is the king but we are the prime minister. But that is not what God wants us to be because well it comes down to Glory as most things seem to be with our generation.  if God is the nominal figure head how is he really sovereign like if our Queen said "right on friday I would like everyone to wear Purple" the government would never pass or allow that decision and it would quietly be forgotten... see power matters and influence if we don't give God power over every aspect of our lives how can we see real change?

But Allie, what has this to do with glory? Well see if we do stuff in our own strength we feel we deserve the glory - that is only natural. but if God is totally in charge with all the power and resources then of course he deserves the glory when things go well...  So in joining God's kingdom is colonisation into his empire this is why because in imperial systems its not about individual countries each has their own part to add to the might of the empire and the emperor is sovereign of all equally.

It does have its limitations as an analogy/vision like the fact that every empire has its flagship country the one that becomes the model or benefactor for the rest. In this case it is Jesus; but also most opinions on imperial rule say colonisation was not Good for the countries colonised. did you know that the British put in most of the infrastructure that still exists in what are now commonwealth countries like the train system etc and that the Romans brought infrastructure with them when they colonised like the road network and aqueducts  I am not saying it was all good because it wasn't but this is a different kind of empire and yes the natives sometimes rebel against the emperor we do that too but we are under grace.

So here is the question if you were to visit that place that is your kingdom, where your choices are made and your power and influence are deployed whose face would be on the coinage? do your everyday decisions and needs come down to prayer and God's will or your own?

Excess Baggage.

Some days I wish that I didn't have baggage that I could walk through life and not pick up junk that hurts or that is just there niggling. As Christians we start fresh every morning - keeping short accounts with God but there is still this Shrapnel that seems imbeded the rubbish that we just can't understand why its still there but it is.

So I cleared my purse out today  its been one of those jobs I just haven't got around to do in a while - clear it of receipts, old train tickets and general rubbish that builds up. In the back of my purse I keep a ICE card basically telling what I am allergic to and other information like what medications and conditions I have also my donor card. I feel its really important that if God calls me home and someone has a chance to live using my organs then that is for God's Glory. I have this so that I can give it to a paramedic in an emergency.

Anyway so I saw this card (its folded in half) and thought have I updated it recently? as I pulled it out of my purse a picture of my ex-boyfriend fell out. Its been over a year since my one and only ever relationship ended. So clearly I hadn't updated the card in a year but it kind of shocked me because I had been carrying around a photo of my Ex boyfriend for a year totally inadvertently- every day.

Its like that in life though  you think you have let go of something or someone who hurt you then it just takes a small root around to realise that its actually closer to the surface that you thought it was. I thought I was over him bit in that moment I genuinely realised I was that I didn't need to carry any part of him around with me that that chapter is closed in my life well and truly. It was quite cleansing, to know that he was not part of my life any more his photo was no more than a train ticket - a memory of where I had been but was no longer. That might sound a little harsh but its a good thing for me sure his picture holds more memories than a train ticket to the nearest town but they are both journeys that have run their course- expired.

We are so prone in this day and age to hold on to such copious amounts of excess baggage, rubbish that we pick up little things that we over think perhaps or lies we believe. we are told in the gospels that all  baggage has to be checked in at the foot of the Cross. But we are used to it. Its weight, how it feels to carry it, we are used to just carrying it because its there. its easy to try and convince ourselves its just the size and shape for hand luggage that we can manage it - we won't need to check it in. but the truth is we don't need to carry our baggage around with us. So I had a friend I went to school with whom in year 7 would carry ALL his textbooks around with him every day until our deputy head of year/history teacher somehow noticed and explained to him that there was no need to have all of them. Just the 2 lessons between break and lunch.

I guess we can be like that sometimes having all our rubbished stashed away in our rucksack where we can't see it but we are carrying it. Have you ever noticed how a rucksack feels lighter when it is on your back than when you lift it with your hands. its easier to carry stuff when it isn't in your hands you're still carrying it though.

Sometimes it just comes down to the moment when you say look God here is all my shrapnel this is all my rubbish please heal me... and he will.. its ok to have baggage its just not the best thing to carry it.