I have just completed what seems from the outside like my third gap year ... I have had a paid Job albeit not a graduate job in some swanky office somewhere that is cool. I have even been promoted. I wouldn't change the last three years for anything.
I have worked for the church for three years, contrary to popular belief all Christians work for God not just worship leaders... also teachers, milkmen, shop girls and lawyers but I have spent three working for his bride; two years just outside London doing anything and everything the church there needed me to and one on a national discipleship program in the west country being an intern in a larger church specifically working in two areas of ministry and I supported myself by working in what is absolutely definitely the most awesome shop ever.
Looking at my three years post uni life I haven't exactly 'lived the dream' - most of my fellow alumni have salaries and some even have mortgages... gulp! Many have married got engaged or something like that and some even have started families..Eek. then there is me a law unto herself always gallivanting but not settling after move number 18 or 19 - four counties, many many postcodes.
But little old me - no I haven't done the normal expected thing at all. I didn't even do a gap yah travelling across the world and having pictures taken with orphans that I was doing something really really important for the kingdom for which you can't really translate to people who are not there.... I get it, I do... people are dying of things that are treatable . But it's so easy to gloss over what is happening here and what people here are crying out for is also Jesus. See in the developing world you see their poverty in their lack of food and every day things. Here you see it in the never satisfied abundance in the have to have in the trying desperately to use anything to fill the space in their lives that only Jesus was designed to fill... the unending loneliness of staring in the black mirrors. The self worth measured by social media friends and followers. Does someone liking a post or retweeting define me? no Jesus defines me my sole purpose is to reflect his glory and delight in his pleasure.
So rather than racking up stamps on my passport I was getting my hands dirty in the local church here in the UK where it desperately needs young people, not just in the building but in the community. We live in a age where the UK needs gap year students and young people more than you can possibly imagine to really make a difference for his kingdom in our kingdom. 97% of people in the UK don't go to Church we are one of the most spiritually poor nations in the world. Actually taking a year out is not the issue its viewing our own nation as the mission field that tends to boggle most people, although the tide is now turning in churches it seems to viewing their normal every day acquaintances, friends and colleagues as the mission field.
I have learned so much about the kingdom of God and I have seen God in ways I simply cannot describe and I know who I am in Christ now. But most of all I have seen over the last three years is the local Church - at its best and its worst and in all levels in between. There is one thing that trounces the statistics and never ceases to awe me is how much God loves the local church no matter how high or low Anglican
(or otherwise), weather they like the word religion and however much they are spirit led or lacking the church in all its brokenness and glory is beautiful. I think we have forgotten how to serve the local church - we have forgotten that it is his bride made of us. I am the bride of Christ and so are you my brothers and sisters.
The problem is she has got rather too skinny and a little bit vain. After all what is fed grows and what is left wastes away and the church has on the whole become individualistic and introverted - the mentality to go where you get fed until you don't is understandable but not biblical and all it results in is spiritual constipation. Gone is the one thing I am most passionate about - the whole family of God. Many churches don't let the children ever sit through an entire service all age services are gone in favour of what nourishes the adults. One of the best services I have ever been to a teenager preached with a bottle of a popular cleaning product and everyone loved it. Many are reluctant to help with the outreach to the elderly because they are afraid of them. Gone are the days when young and old worshipped together and your church was your community through the good and the downright awful. I see why its happened, however my heart rings with Psalm 145 One generation will commend your works to another. How can they when they don't even go to the same services any more?
I am recklessly abandoned for his kingdom and in his love. Its like he's the wind and I sail where he leads me. I chose to leave an Ok relationship - which would have inevitably ended in marriage to pursue a covenant relationship of a different kind. God has seriously broken my heart for the west and the elderly and perhaps that colours my opinion. However, I choose obedience and for me that means - for this season at least I will live an unconventional life one that requires being a nomad, leaving a job I love for the one I love but most of all it means that I go where he leads. To be honest I wouldn't have it any other way - wherever I end up. Next stop is the USA ( visa permitting.) on what could easily seem like the fourth gap year. I have learned that my perception of a Gap year for God was essentially time you let God have free reign of your life then well the real stuff begins the Salary, engagement and morgage. For some people that might be the case, that might even be what God has for them but for me, I am on a Gap life, My life is his whether I end up in Asia at an orphanage or in America with an international missionary organisation or in a local church just loving the elderly.
The thing is you only get one shot at life and mine belongs to Jesus - the whole shot- not just the easy bits or the normal bits. The whole lot. I love him and do you know what I'd rather have his adventure than my career success. I would rather have him than all the gold in the world, I'd rather his intimacy than a husband- really- but most of all I would rather be with him and dwell in the presence of the lord living by his word than anywhere - conventional or not!
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