Excess Baggage.

Some days I wish that I didn't have baggage that I could walk through life and not pick up junk that hurts or that is just there niggling. As Christians we start fresh every morning - keeping short accounts with God but there is still this Shrapnel that seems imbeded the rubbish that we just can't understand why its still there but it is.

So I cleared my purse out today  its been one of those jobs I just haven't got around to do in a while - clear it of receipts, old train tickets and general rubbish that builds up. In the back of my purse I keep a ICE card basically telling what I am allergic to and other information like what medications and conditions I have also my donor card. I feel its really important that if God calls me home and someone has a chance to live using my organs then that is for God's Glory. I have this so that I can give it to a paramedic in an emergency.

Anyway so I saw this card (its folded in half) and thought have I updated it recently? as I pulled it out of my purse a picture of my ex-boyfriend fell out. Its been over a year since my one and only ever relationship ended. So clearly I hadn't updated the card in a year but it kind of shocked me because I had been carrying around a photo of my Ex boyfriend for a year totally inadvertently- every day.

Its like that in life though  you think you have let go of something or someone who hurt you then it just takes a small root around to realise that its actually closer to the surface that you thought it was. I thought I was over him bit in that moment I genuinely realised I was that I didn't need to carry any part of him around with me that that chapter is closed in my life well and truly. It was quite cleansing, to know that he was not part of my life any more his photo was no more than a train ticket - a memory of where I had been but was no longer. That might sound a little harsh but its a good thing for me sure his picture holds more memories than a train ticket to the nearest town but they are both journeys that have run their course- expired.

We are so prone in this day and age to hold on to such copious amounts of excess baggage, rubbish that we pick up little things that we over think perhaps or lies we believe. we are told in the gospels that all  baggage has to be checked in at the foot of the Cross. But we are used to it. Its weight, how it feels to carry it, we are used to just carrying it because its there. its easy to try and convince ourselves its just the size and shape for hand luggage that we can manage it - we won't need to check it in. but the truth is we don't need to carry our baggage around with us. So I had a friend I went to school with whom in year 7 would carry ALL his textbooks around with him every day until our deputy head of year/history teacher somehow noticed and explained to him that there was no need to have all of them. Just the 2 lessons between break and lunch.

I guess we can be like that sometimes having all our rubbished stashed away in our rucksack where we can't see it but we are carrying it. Have you ever noticed how a rucksack feels lighter when it is on your back than when you lift it with your hands. its easier to carry stuff when it isn't in your hands you're still carrying it though.

Sometimes it just comes down to the moment when you say look God here is all my shrapnel this is all my rubbish please heal me... and he will.. its ok to have baggage its just not the best thing to carry it.