A cloud which bytes

I had a very surreal moment the other day when my mum told me that a facebook game was and I quote a " time bandit - it steals my time "

The next day a good friend of mine who is older than me asked me if I could fix it so that she no longer got candy crush requests from an old friend. " I don't want to upset her but I get 20 of the darn things a day. Can you stop her sending them.  It is driving me crazy"

I was born not with a metaphorical spoon in my mouth but a computer mouse. Let me explain my dad writes software and my grandad  well he was a electrical engineer and worked for the guy who invented TV. My mum taught first little kids then before she got sick computers. I do not remember a time in my life twenty odd years when I didn't know how to use a computer.

My mum remembers her first television set arriving my dad does not as grandad built one for his bride to watch the coronation in the 1950s.
In the last 100 years technology moves on so fast even I one of the oldest digital natives am struggling to keep up- I remember friends getting computers and wondering why it was such a big deal as don't all daddy's build them from scratch?

It leaves the question of in an increasingly digital age where my photos sync to the cloud and I can scribble on my keypad and it writes words. Are we shutting out our elders and not allowing us to learn things you can't google.

And what about them like my Nana who knows how to do some things but has no idea how the rest work.  Or my lovely mum who is fighting a battle new that I have for years " I love the game but it is stealing my life "  I know that honestly I feel that progress for the sake of progress it's no progress at all. I know that the black mirror has corrupted our society. But it draws you back as I write this in scribbles. Again and again.

I don't know a world in which all communication is not easy and desirable. I know that I have all the say in what I see and from whom. And I know that many older people wish for a phone free social time. But the truth is I am often alone with my phone in pocket in a room full of my peers.

Because technology has its place and it has its uses but people matter more than screens and contact this second so that I can fully live in the moment. Who taught me that well a computer teacher and a software engineer... My parents.

Why feminists should take a leaf out of their own book.

A few days ago I read an article in which Kaley Cuoco of the big bang theory stated that amongst other things she loved to look after her man.

As you can imagine every feminist worth their salt came up with a blog post on how she was corrupted by the establishment or something like that. That she betrayed women kind.

But in so doing they have totally missed it.  Kaley Cuoco like millions of women before her was expressing her femininity. This is not a woman cooped up in a house the slave of a society which does not allow for her to be fully herself.  This is a wealthy actress who travels the world and commands the screen in a show that is loved all over the world.  She does not need a man to complete her  she is successful in her own right. 

That is what true  feminism boils down to letting everyone be themselves and not letting gender hinder them from opportunity or living life to the fullest.

That is why Jesus came for us to have life to the fullest and not be hindered in being fully who we were created to be. He was (and is) a feminist. He desires for all to be all that they were made to.

If Kaley or anyone else's expression of their true heart and femininity is to cook their husbands dinner, do his laundry and let him mow the lawn or build the deck. It doesn't stop others burning their bra and  being CEO of a cooperation. 
So feminists lay down your pens or tablets and see that expressions of Femininty are as diverse as women themselves. Being a feminist should mean you should rejoice over women not following the 'done' thing but being wholly themselves. In our culture it is no longer acceptable to say you enjoy looking after your husband and why should it be that way because for millions of women educated,  beautiful and successful who  enjoy leaving their jobs for raising their kids or love nothing better than to cook their husbands favorite dinner.  And men who love to spend time at their daughters ballet recital and  enjoy cooking too. 

Beyond the tinsel

IThis year my Christmas will look very different. Not just because it will be the first without my family but because I am in a different culture entirely.

I thought that I had a good Christian view of Christmas. But being in a country where the possibility of a white Christmas is pretty much nil.
Also in a culture where you are very much Christian and yet don't go to church on Christmas day is alien.

It has lead me to ponder the bare bones of Christmas. What it is and why we celebrate it. The other day I saw the Grinch stole Christmas for the first time and I wonder if  that is the secular perception that it is just consumerism gone crazy.

Christmas comes from the mass of Christ we celebrate his birth that is not new news to most people. Most people have random childhood nativity memories. I as Mary in my nursery nativity play swapped josephs half way to Bethlehem. Because Joseph one decided that he would rather be a shepherd with guys brother. I know of stories of the first  innkeepers saying come in we have cable or wise men running off with the gold.

But where does that leave us with unto us a child is born unto us a son is given. Because god himself intervening in human history to change it and our fate in a world where everyone had turned away (psalm 53:2-3) was not enough? The creator and architect of our very universe would wear human flesh and come to earth as we do cocooned in our mother. Vulnerable, dependant and naked.  He showed us what it means to love to be close to god and the life that he would have us live. Perhaps that is the point him and only him our god is with us.

History

As I have said a few times my degree is in History. A  lot of people think that History is the past and a study of the past. Which in many ways it is but true History is more than that. What happened is the Past, our understanding of it that is history. The Cambridge dictionary defines history as ( the study of ) past events when considered together. 

History is an admission of our humanity, It is saying that we ourselves are fallible and we can only see things through our own filters and perspectives. My first ever history lesson in Secondary School we were taught about bias, Bias is not history's dirty secret but it is one of the foundations of Historical inquiry. Put another way we would not have History without people seeing things in different ways. After all if you were talking objectively Hilter was one of the most Charismatic public speakers that ever lived but there are few who would agree with his view of German History. If any society is burning their history books it is a sign that they are totalitarian because it shows that they do not value anyone else's opinion and have to make sure that everyone is on their agenda and version of the past. 

Lately I have been thinking about filters and perspectives a lot. I have also been thinking about my personal History and wondering if I need to reform my view of my History through the filter of the knowledge of Christ. After all perception is 9/10ths of conviction. What if I let Jesus write my History book. What if I let him decide what was a defining moment in my life. What If I let him decided to what extent I am good, lovely, lovable? would my view of others change? would my view of myself change? So I decided to give him my past as I remembered it and let him reform my history and personally it has made me more able to move on from things in my life. After all we are told to  forget the former things - do not dwell in the past (Isaiah 43). in the message that passage says ' be alert, be present' and I think we have to let God deal with our stories so that we can live well in the now. 

I think that is part of what we carry as Christians.In the Bible it says of Christ that he is the lord of History. We are also told to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Therefore isn't that part of the hope that he brings to people the ability not to change the past but their perception of it. If all things come together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes, then surely he can give you a new view of your past.

So when we declare that we will change History for Christ when we believe that God wants us to change the trajectory of the world we are in. We should also be aware that he wants to show people a new perspective on the past that they have lived too. 

Choosing to see Beautiful.

I stood staring at my reflection wondering what I would look like if I were beautiful I mean really beautiful. I had a good idea because I have photos in which I vaguely look pretty and one or two where I might actually pass for Beautiful. But as I stared and stared I wondered also who got to make the rules and why did so many people tell me I was beautiful when I just can't see it. When I was a baby so many people used to stop the pram and tell my mother I was beautiful that my older brother genuinely thought that beauty was my name ( true story!). Either there is a conspiracy that everyone is trying to lie to me for a strange reason or perhaps I am somewhere beyond ' ok looking'.

If your immediate response to that is ' what is she talking about she is really beautiful! She hasn't seen my face' I would say thank you and politely suggest that we are in the same boat especially because I picked a blog picture I looked good in! You are probably equally not seeing your beauty ( I say that in love).

In the bible beauty is about the heart and how our heart is ( 1 peter 3:4) . In song of songs he calls us beautiful ( Sos 4:1) whilst this is true as it is scripture as is the fact that we are masterpieces of the Father I think we have allowed the world to warp our perception of beauty. Even for someone like me who actively shuns the image of perfection in the media and doesn't really mind about fashion at all. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So perhaps we should take off the glasses of the world that have distorted it.

WE all know that out view of beauty is distorted - liposucked, airbrushed and thin. But no one is offering an alternative of how else to see beauty except perhaps a soap manufacturer and a few blogs. Beauty is seeing the craftsmanship its seeing the loving hand of a master craftsman.  But it is more than that knowing you are beautiful is part of your original design because we are all one of a kind God made us all uniquely beautiful.

I can see the beauty of God in people all the time some times it takes longer than others but I  always see it and its more than a nose or a hair style its how you smile its the way you speak to people its how you are uniquely you . But I can't always see it in myself. I am living in community at the moment and one of the lads frequently points out that ' You call everyone beautiful people,' and that is possibly true but I am sincere when I say it because I see the beauty in people in their appearance, their hearts and who they are but I don't know how I can therefore fail to see it in myself.

It is easier to label beauty as something other than yourself. It is easy to see what you lack to compare yourself to models and brides. I avoid mirrors as much as I can because I find it difficult to look at myself.  But I realised this week that to be honest I am not ok with that. I want to see my beauty not so I can be vain but because I want to walk in his master craftsmanship. I want to see how he made me beautiful.

It is a stronghold and a lie to think that I am not beautiful. It is a lie to believe that I lack beauty when I was crafted by the master and I am a masterpiece. Then I realised that it is a choice, I have to choose to see past all the weight I have gained to see past the spots and the Eczema on my face and see myself how God sees me. Perhaps that is the challenge to see ourselves how God sees us. As the beautiful carefully crafted masterpiece he so lovingly created. True beauty is in who you are as well as what you look like. It is beyond the map of your body but I think we have to learn to see the beauty in that map to see how my nose and ears and eyes were crafted. to see how lovely I am to love myself as he does and to see his beautiful unique masterpiece as Allie, 1 of 1. Beautiful.

Remember remeber

The fifth of november -gunpowder treason and plot.

So as a Brit abroad i have found myself explaining why we celebrate a  terrorist attack  which was prevented. We burn an effigy of the long dead terrorist and  set off explosives to show what didn't happen on the fifth of November 1605.
To be honest I love to celebrate bonfire night and the distinct lack of fireworks (here in the US ) feels disconcerting. The pilgrims  were fleeing England because of the same piece of legislation as the group of Catholic noble men wanting to bomb the king and parliament.  (Hampton court conference1604) one because they felt it allowed too much and one because it didn't go far enough. This is also where the king James Bible was commissioned.

The terrorists of 1605 had a group portrait made so it was easy to find them -rookie mistake. Guy Fawkes was caught red handed with the gunpowder.

To others cultures it may seem a little bit strange to celebrate a failed terrorist attack  but it is an integral part of who we are as a nation. Firstly that we do not negotiate with terrorists nor do we allow people to sway our political system by fear. Secondly that we have a monarchy and are not at the mercy of the Catholic interpretation of the gospel.  We are  a democratic but we have a queen whom is to prevent the disintegration of our culture and stand with our political system. (not what James I defined monarchy as). However  we  celebrate on the fifth of November who we are as a nation. It's quirky and slightly strange but it's ours.

We celebrate the fifth of November because it constitutes our freedom and  unbaised government. That is worth celebrating.

Remember remember the fifth of November gunpowder treason and plot...

Worthy

' Jesus is worth every penny I didn't earn.'. The preacher last night spoke those words and they pierced through my heart. He had been speaking about the worthiness of God and the two commandments that Jesus gives us.

For last couple of weeks I have lost sight of why I have come half way around the world because of a still small voice inside my head. I forgot how worthy God is- how worthy Jesus is. He is so worthy and worth it. I forgot that I would rather be in the centre of his will for my life than comfort of home.Why is he worthy that is the easy part he gave everything for me he loves me enough to die for me to conquer death and I am struggling to cope with being in a first world country where they are just taking the mick for the fact I am not american.

The truth is that Jesus is worth it all. Not just the stuff that happens but the stuff that didn't. He is worth every single penny I didn't earn. As I have said before on this Blog  I could have had many promising careers but God has given me this nomadic adventure instead ( gap year or Gap life? 07/14). I have an amazing degree from a Russell Group university in History. I have Qualifications enough to do so many things. I could have been anything I had set my heart on... My full course GCSEs were All As and A*s I have three Good A levels. I could have been earning well over £20,000 by now, I could have started have thinking about a mortgage. For some people that is what God asks of them and that is amazing but not what he has asked of me. He is worth the sacrifice always.

His way is worth it, It matters that he desires for us to be highly holy people. He is worth the alcohol I didn't drink, the drugs I never tried and the boys I didn't kiss. He is worth the opportunities I passed up and the outfits I never wore. He is worth the nights praying,every fasted meal and the choices my parents didn't like. He will be worth the Christmas I won't spend with my family. He is so worthy. I don't know How I could have lost sight of how worthy he is.

Worthy, worthy is the lamb.